Solitary Confession

This loneliness was gnawing at my soul for way too long.
And now look at it!
That crack has become this huge void.
So huge that some uneasy nights i crawl inside and sleep while it enshrouds me.
So huge that you will find a pile of emotions lying around, unnecessary emotions.
Unnecessary because no one dares to explore them, to unravel them, to get burned by them.

And now,
Now look at me!
I've fallen from grace.
Buying things to certify my value, to redeem it.
Stuffing myself to fill this emptiness, covering it up with make-up.
These were my pathetic ways of feeling alive, important again.
Giving in whenever i felt too exposed, too fragile.
But where's the dignity in that?

That's not who i want to be.
My rear-view mirror might be smeared but my realization is crystal clear.
I have to rely on myself and fight to claim back happiness.
And yes, i know, it won't be easy. You don't need to lecture me about it.
But maybe all i need is to find someone to rest upon,
Someone who will treasure every piece of me
and no matter how ugly it gets, he'll be there,
to poke me, to hug me, to catch me, until the storm is over.